I cannot help but compare my recent introduction to surfing to my current experience in Independent feature filmmaking. When Brandon and I mused about the possibilities of producing the feature we wrote, I told myself that this time I would sit back, be creative, direct the film, act in it, but NOT be involved in the mind numbing, brain splitting, production end of things. I’d done it before for a short film, ‘A Woman Reported‘ (Sundance 2004) and it was rewarding, I could do it, but this time I was going to just be an “artist”. I pictured myself mussing up my hair over endless cups of coffee, making script changes, worrying over character choices, but never scheduling, budgeting, number crunching. NEVER AGAIN is what I said. Ha! As the weeks closed in and no lowly paid “passionate about the project” producer showed their face, Brandon and I realized that if we wanted to go forward with the film, we’d have to buck up and take up the reigns.
Which brings me to the surfing. Being an athletic person, I sort of pictured myself paddling out into the great blue yonder and effortlessly taking smooth waves toward white sandy beaches. Wrong. It’s more like paddle, paddle, gasp, paddle, paddle, Holy Shits a huge freaking wave is cooommiiiing— Oh, I’m on top of it and I might be fine…nope glugluglgluglgluglgug. Oh my God I’m alive! And back we go again in case it’s not so bad next time. That’s how the producing hit us. We had no idea how to use any of the programs (Movie Magic Scheduling, Budgeting) but people were asking us questions like, “what’s your budget”? and “if I give you money, what’s my investment”? Also, actors we respect were reading the script and loving it and asking what their time committment was going to be. Just as we learned one thing, we’d realize we’d scheduled it wrong and have to start over. It was exhausting and more than one nervous breakdown was had, but we are both wholeheartedly thankful that we were shoved into the swell and forced to learn the hard way, because only through drowning do we understand what we are getting ourselves into and truly appreciate the ride.